Archive for the ‘Self-image/Self-healing’ Category

“Christiane Northrup describes the pre-menstrual stage as the time when “inner wisdom,” sensitivity, and awareness to emotions and their messages are most available to work this way. In the course of the menstrual cycle, levels of LH and FSH, the hormones that stimulate the ovaries to produce eggs, are low in the first half of the menstrual cycle. They gradually rise and then peak on day fourteen. Although we don’t know where LH and FSH themselves bond to in the brain, we know that estrogen, which is controlled by them and therefore also increases in midcycle, bonds to the limbic areas of the brain, which plays an important role in intuition. Thus ovulation appears to prime the intuitive network and open up the channels so that women can hear more clearly.” Mona Lisa Schulz “Awakening Intuition”

A couple of months ago, I received an email from a woman, we’ll call Carol, who asked if I’d write about premenstrual syndrome (PMS), especially the metaphysical causes. Carol, age 38, wrote concerning her PMS emotions, worried why she acted like a raving lunatic before her period was due. There were certain days before her period where she was unable to control her dreadful tempers, rages, tearful scenes and irrational behaviors. On really bad days, she’d been known to scream, yell, threaten, slam doors, throw frying pans across the room, cry, sob and/or suffer from depression. Carol told me all these intense emotions were so out of character from her ‘normal’ days. She was frightened by what was happening to her and felt at a loss as how to discuss this with anyone.

It’s no coincidence that Carol’s explosive nature seemed to happen just before her period was due. At this time of the month, we can all become the proverbial bitch lol. Some of us go literally bananas and absolutely crazy in a very fiery dramatic way. Like menstrual blood, women’s anger is red, hot, active and potent, and once a month it has this opportune moment to surface. The deeper the repression the hotter the flames! In fact these flames can get so hot, they can burn everything standing in their way. Oh yeah, I knew exactly what Carol was going through.

“Anger is a reaction. When we feel angry, it is because something in our background or personal value system has been challenged. That something tells us we ought to react by being angry. But anger, like love is a choice, a choice we make on the basis of our subconscious values and attitudes. Thus, we can choose to change it by changing the values that lead us to feel it.” Linda Joyce

When I asked Carol about her physical symptoms with PMS, she wrote back ‘now you sound like my doctor, it’s not my physical symptoms I’m worried about.’ Sometimes, it can be hard to decide whether it’s the physical or psychological symptoms that bother us the most—usually it’s the psychological symptoms that tip the scale.

“PMS is characterized by so many different symptoms, it’s important for us to know which ones are affecting us, psychologically and physically. Our hormones constantly rise and fall throughout our lives; they are an important indicator to how we feel all the time. As well….The effects of the mind, emotions, diet, light, exercise, relationships, heredity, and childhood traumas must all be taken into account when treating PMS.” Christiane Northrup Eastern Body Western Mind

After a few emails back and forth, Carol agreed to take the time to listen to and jot down her physical and emotional PMS symptoms, especially before and just after ovulation. I asked her to add some comments and brief descriptions to each one, noting any tensions, frustration, memories, or feelings she observed at that time. When stressed did she turn to comfort foods or foods high in sugar and carbohydrates? If she did have arguments, or fights with someone, how significant and important were they during this period. Did she recall any dreams during that time? Did one or more standout in her mind that was especially striking or dramatic? Were there any dreams that repeated from times before? I told Carol that persistent dreams had a message she needed to hear. Did she have any inspirations, great ideas before or after ovulation? I asked her not to write too much at this point. Sometimes something we’ve never noticed before can excite us to the point that we want to keep writing on and on. The problem with this, is we lose the momentum of the whole exercise and our attention to it. What we want to do is look at various phases, changes and challenges we encountered during this period.

“Women need to believe in the importance of the issues that come up premenstrually. Even though our bodies and minds may not express these issues and concerns as they would in the first part of our cycle—on our so-called good days—our inner wisdom is clearly asking for our attention…..One husband reported that in the follicular phase of his wife’s cycle, she was great, was always cheery, kept the house in order, and did the cooking. But after ovulation she “let herself go” and talked about wanting to go back to college and get out of the house more. I told him that these issues that arise premenstrually should be treated seriously, and I asked him to consider what his wife’s needs were for her full personal development. I pointed out that her difficult behavior premenstrually was her way of expressing those needs.” Christiane Northrup, Eastern Body Western Mind

Deep inside us, we all carry around inhibiting beliefs, thoughts and attitudes that were instilled in us when we were children. Being very young, we weren’t able to reason things out and were totally at the mercy of our environment and the people in it. More often than not, what we learned about the world and about ourselves conflicted with the natural rhythm of our body/mind and soul. As we grew, we also started to carry around all the people who hurt us, with words, with actions, even those disapproving glances. Fear of not being loved or worse being abandoned we tried to please and pretzel ourselves to what others wanted us to be. We learned to ignore the things that bothered us, carrying on the role of little girl dress-up with the hopes of gaining approval from others. At this point we didn’t even realize our lives were not our own. At least not until puberty approached and our bodies started to change.

“It [PMS] insists that you move into your own rhythm rather than staying within society’s time frame. Living for a few days each month from within your natural rhythm is a powerful correction to the culture’s alienation of nature. PMS drops you deep into your own being, and your own truth explodes forth. Whatever you have been successful at burying or denying to yourself bursts forth at this time of the month. It is a truth serum from which you cannot escape, and if you carve out space for it, as in the native “moon hut” traditions, PMS makes you wiser. If you do not, it can cause you to feel that you are going start raving mad.” Donna Eden, David Feinstein, ENERGY MEDICINE, Balancing your Body’s Energies for Optimal Health Joy And Vitality

Every month whether we like or not we have to go through our own lunar cycle. As Camille Paglia writes “Every month, it is woman’s fate to face the abyss of time and being, the abyss, which is herself.”

Donna Eden tells us that “PMS changes the body’s chemistry to clear or prepare a path for journeying to the domain of our soul.” Journeying is a word used by Shamans of the past and Shamans of today. Although the word was originally used for the Native American Indians and other native belief systems, I feel that anyone who has begun to seek deep within to find their place in the ‘great circle of life’, is a modern shaman. Being a shaman is not about great powers or great respect. Rather, it is a responsibility to ourselves and our world to heal and to teach ourselves and others to be in harmony with all things.

Through the centuries women have become more self-aware and independent, which has given them more control over their lives. No longer are we held back from expressing our talents, strengths and intellect. But this has not come without a cost. Breaking out from the ancient limiting beliefs of being the dependent good wife and mother has affected us physically, emotionally and spiritually. Working outside the home has tested our ability to alternate between being a wife, a mother and a career person. This has created a buildup of pressure causing wear and tear on our female organs. The greater the outer pressure to perform, the more likely bodily messages and needs will be ignored. Not only that, the more we fight to become more independent, the fiercer our struggle with nature becomes. Our female bodies, our monthly cycles are a part of nature. “…[We] alternate between receptive and active during each monthly cycle, like the ebb and flow of the tides.” Vicki Noble

“Before ovulation, the left hemisphere of the brain is in control. Most language function is supposed to be in the left hemisphere.  But studies have shown that the left hemisphere is also chiefly primed to hear mainly positive words, such as “joy,” “happiness,” “love,” and “cheer.” After ovulation, however, the right hemisphere picks up the tempo and cycles into more control, while the left hemisphere goes into more of a down mode.  In women, language can be in both hemispheres, but the language to which the right hemisphere is receptive is negatively charged words.  Women can hear words like “rage”, “anger,” “sadness,” and “depression” more strongly premenstrually than the rest of the time.  All at once in this period, their brain allows them to hear things they don’t usually allow themselves to hear.  That’s intuition at work; it makes us able to acquire information and knowledge that are not usually present in our external environment, knowledge we don’t usually want to see hear or act on.”  Mona Lisa Schultz  Awakening Intuition

And we know these ebbs and flows also correspond with the cycles of the moon as well as the output of our sex hormones (estrogen, progesterone and even a little testosterone) produced by the endocrine glands. Our hormones are what make us uniquely female. And your genetics, body chemistry and life experiences are like no one else’s. Even before you reached your teens, your hormones were already having a major impact on how you felt each day of your life.

“The monthly period is a reminder to women that they are living in a largely masculine-dominated world; so PMT (premenstrual tension) brings up issues to with how we feel about being a woman and our relationship to our femininity. It is often very hard to be a career woman, perhaps to be running a business meeting, and to have a period; the two do not go together easily. We respond to our period with emotional and mental disturbance and reluctance, so something here is disturbing us, making us feel awkward and resentful. Do we resent being a woman: Would we prefer not to be working? What are our deeper feelings about these aspects of womanhood? DEP SHAPIRO The Body/Mind Workbook

It is out of your own life experiences that all seven glands of the endocrine system have documented and filed your habits, attitudes, perceptions, traumas, challenges, feelings, thoughts, memories, and unresolved issues or situations to help you become aware of what’s getting in the way of your health and progress. Pain is a built-in warning mechanism, a wake-up call, telling us something in our lives need to change. It is our responsibility to learn what our bodies are trying to teach us so we can avoid illness and continue evolving.

We all hide repressed fears deep down inside—some of these are unconscious currents that flow from past lives. We all know that when energy is blocked it can stir up trouble. When we repress our needs and feelings these will get lodged somewhere in the body in the form of hidden tensions and unhealthy habits. PMS can affect our entire metabolism and exhaust us. When our hormones become unstable, the body will use every tool at its disposal to re-establish balance.

“Premenstrual Syndrome (P.M.S.) – Anger, confusion, anxiety, fear, self-doubt. Holding back your ideas because you believe they will be rejected. Not being listened to. Frustrated, impatient, annoyed. Feeling trapped, unsafe, blocked, disrespected, unhappy. Holding onto past hurts from men. Feeling inferior. Denying your feminine energy. Wanting to be more masculine, to which you attribute strength and power.”  THE SECRET LANGUAGE OF YOUR BODY: The Essential Guide to Health and Wellness ~ Inna Segal

As you can see PMS has many different faces. There is a large percent of women with PMS who psychologically undergo anger, confusion, depression, memory loss, fatigue, and severe changes in mood, and uncontrollable food cravings—especially sweet or starchy foods. Physically the symptoms can produce as many as hundred and fifty or more different symptoms, ranging from breast tenderness, cramping, headaches, acne, restless sleeping, swelling of abdomen, ankles and fingers, bloating and weight gain as much as fourteen pounds! Some woman have an idea of what their symptoms will be on the day they ovulate, experiencing mood and appetite changes that last a few hours but don’t actually form any premenstrual patterns for a few more days.

“All the activities of our sexual body—menstruation, intercourse, conception, pregnancy birth, and menopause—involve streamings and swellings and transformations we have little control over, even though they take place in the very core of our body. At puberty, our breasts grow and angles become curves. Blood streams from our vagina. Our moods soar and plummet, carried on strong, billowing waves of hormones. When we make love to a man, we are penetrated to the core, while a man remains more or less his compact, contained self. In pregnancy and brith, nature takes the ball entirely out of our hands. We swell like balloons. We are nauseated or ravenously hungry. In birth, we crack open like eggs, and that is just the beginning of decades spent in service to our offspring. Then menopause hits, and again, we are buffeted by the winds of hormonal changes. Jalaja Bonheim

In the next segment of this PMS series, we’re going to learn what Carol discovered from listening to her body. We’re going to look at solutions, herbs, supplements, as well as emotional, mental and physical healing. We’re also going to look at changes in appetite and especially those food cravings (one of Carol’s main problems).

Foods that are rich with unusual tastes, colors and textures are really based on pleasurable tastes (past memories) that we wish would repeat in our lives again. When a woman is feeling low, eating sweet starchy foods seems the fastest and easiest way to temporarily relieve the tensions and unpleasant feelings associated with PMS. Unfortunately when we don’t eat wisely, we lose more energy processing the food than gaining from it and thus a low-energy cycle is created.

“Stop feeding your ancient shame, stop telling yourself you are ugly, stop analyzing your physical imperfections. Your body is exactly as nature intended it to be. You genitals are perfect and beautiful. You are worthy of all the love in the world, and your story matters.” Jalaja Bonheim, APHRODITE’S DAUGHTERS

This is such a great song to finish this article, I hope you enjoy it!

Because I am a Queen by India Arie


Sometimes I shave my legs and sometimes I don’t Sometimes I comb my hair and sometimes I won’t Depend on how the wed blows I might even paint my toes It really just depends on whatever feels good in my soul I’m not the average girl from your video and I ain’t built like a supermodel But, I Learned to love myself unconditionally Because I am a queen

I’m not the average girl from your video My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes No matter what I’m wearing I will always be India Arie When I look in the mirror the only one there is me Every freckle on my face is where it’s supposed to be And I know our creator didn’t make no mistakes on me My feet, my thighs, my lips, my eyes I’m lovin’ what I see

I’m not the average girl from your video and I ain’t built like a supermodel But, I Learned to love myself unconditionally Because I am a queen I’m not the average girl from your video My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes No matter what I’m wearing I will always be India Arie Am I less of a lady If I don’t wear panty hose? My Mama says a lady ain’t what she wears but what she knows,

But, I’ve drawn a conclusion, it’s all an illusion. Confusions the name of the game A misconception, a vast deception Something’s gotta change Don’t be offended this is all my opinion ain’t nothing that I’m saying law This is a true confession of a life learned lesson I was sent here to share with ya’ll

So get in where you fit in go on and shine Free your mind, nows the time Put your salt on the shelf Go head and love yourself Cuz everything’s gonna be all right I’m not the average girl from your video and I ain’t built like a supermodel But, I Learned to love myself unconditionally Because I am a queen

I’m not the average girl from your video My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes No matter what I’m wearing I will always be India Arie

Keep your fancy drinks and your expensive minks I don’t need that to have a good time Keep your expensive car and your Caviar All I need is my guitar  

Keep your crystal and your pistol I’d rather have a pretty piece of crystal Don’t need your silicone, I prefer my own What God gave me is just fine I’m not the average girl from your video and I ain’t built like a supermodel But, I Learned to love myself unconditionally Because I am a queen  

I’m not the average girl from your video My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes No matter what I’m wearing I will always be India Arie







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“Money will command your attention. Allow it a proper place in your life, but deny it a throne. Money means many things, but nothing so much as a yardstick by which your measure will be taken. The need of it, the use of it, the power of it, the love of it will be used by others to define who you are and who you are not. Even you may use it to determine how you should perceive yourself. Be careful. Money is also known to be a relentless slave master. If I have learned anything from this balancing act it is the importance of defining your worth in your own terms.” By Sidney Poitier in ‘Life Beyond Measure, Letters to My Great-Granddaughter’ 

Is Sidney Poitier saying, we have let money mean too much, allowed it to become a measurement of our success in life? Many of us have a deep seeded sense of poverty in our consciousness, our world has been through wars and the great depression. These events, feelings and attitudes have been going on for generations. They generate fear, insecurities and our own sense of lack. Poverty consciousness leaves us unable to enjoy or even take note of what the world is offering you.

We‘ve been through some rough times lately, demands on our time and energy can leave us feeling emotionally drained and physically exhausted. If your total life was a bank account, how many daily deposits and withdrawals are you making to and from the account? This account includes the body, mind and spirit. We all have a “life account” from which we frequently make too many withdrawals or allow others to withdraw too freely.

Just like a life bank account, your subconscious keeps a tally of your self-worth based on what you think of yourself. Every time you criticize yourself, you also make a withdrawal on your self-esteem account. And every time you give yourself credit for what you’ve done, you make a deposit.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that if you make more withdrawals than deposits, you’re going to end up physically, mentally and emotionally bankrupt. If you feel sluggish and cranky, you could already be on your way to bankruptcy. When we overdraw physically, mentally or spiritually, we “see red”, ie., we experience frustration, anger and exhaustion.

But when we credit our life’s account by setting realistic limits, we have more to give. And when we have more to give, there is also more to receive. Although taking care of ourselves is often difficult to do, it is an excellent investment in creating the quality of life we want and deserve. By taking the time to nurture ourselves, we ensure we will not get “overdrawn”.

This neat little visualization helps to balance your life account. Imagine, or picture yourself in a town that looks friendly and prosperous. As you stroll along the sidewalk, people smile at you. You enjoy the architecture of the buildings.

Just ahead you see your bank. But it isn’t just any bank, it is literally your bank. It says so on the front, in elegant gold letter: The (your name) Bank and Trust Company.”

Opening the front door, you go inside. The interior is spacious and full of light. Friends and business acquaintances are in line waiting to make transactions with you. You notice which ones are there to make deposits and which ones are there to make withdrawals.

The door to your office has your name on it, and below it, “PRESIDENT”. Sitting down at your desk you check the balance sheet of Your Life Account. The statement could be in a ledger, a filing cabinet or even on your computer.

What debits are itemized? Are these debits from that project at work that didn’t go through? Did they come from blowing up at friend…..or the friend blowing up at you? Were you late for an appointment? Missed an important date? Or didn’t exercise hard enough? Make note of your own debits and tuck them in your mind.

Now what’s in the credit column? Anything? If not you’d better make a deposit in your Life Account. “But what do I put in it” you say? Well, you get up in the morning, you brush your teeth, pet the dog, called on a sick friend, cut the grass, did the laundry, drove the kids, share your lunch….get the idea? How about that bright idea that was recently put into action? And how about that goal you accomplished?

These all belong in the plus column, but unless you give yourself credit for them, consciously entering them, they won’t register in your subconscious. So write your accomplishments in your in your ledger, seeing them written in your handwriting or filed in your computer.

Check your Life Account regularly. It can be daily or weekly, but check it! If more debits show up then credits, start balancing! Review the good things you’ve done—everything from the magnificent to the mundane—and remember to make those deposits. The simplicity of this visualization is marvelous.

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Cutting the ties that bind helps us to regain our power and self-esteem by cuttting away old attachments or energetic ties that no longer beam us love but have become flat and stale.  These attachments cling to our lifeforce, depleting  our soul and wounding us over and over again.

There are postive connections we form with people in a healthy way and ties that bind in an unhealthy way. The unhealthy ones sap our energy and the more there are, the more they seem to control and stress us out. This is an easy and painless way to unbind yourself……find a way to ground your energy….perhaps standing barefoot on the sand near the ocean or in the middle of a blooming garden. The sky is clear and the sun shines brightly.

Sprouting from your body in all directions are lines, or cords….you might see or sense them as telephone wires, ropes, tubes or hoses. Some might be clustered together, some may look like bundled fiber optics…..others may look dark and stiff.

Each line of cord represents a connection you have with someone. The stronger the connection, the thicker the cord. The livelier and healthier the bond, the brighter it glows. The ones that are muddy or dark symbolize connections that are unhealthy with no life flowing through them.

Your subconscious may or may not show you which cord is connected with which person but you may sense or see a person at the end of a cord, or it might simply disappear into space.

Certain areas of your body may hold strong emtional attachments….such as your chest, abdomen, and back…look to see if they sprout thick clusters of cords. The darker ones are the negative connections that weigh heavily upon you….they may even cause chronic problems in that area….see if there is a negative connection in these areas. L

The dark stiff ones you want to cut loose. They drain your energy and keep you tense. In your mind’s eye look for something to cut them with. A pair of golden scissors, a silver dagger, a magical sword? Choose whatever feels most powerful to you. Hold it in your hand…feel the coolness and weight of the metal.

Don’t worry about cutting healthy connections…these magical cutting instruments only cut through the negative cords…leaving the healthy ones in tact. Best of all there’s no pain.

Cut the dark unhealthy cords one by one or slice through several at a time. You might feel a slight pressure or resistance as you begin to cut the ties that bind, but no matter how thick the cords are, they are easily severed. The end that is attached to someone else whips away into space. The end attached to you, curls up and dries to dust in seconds. It crumbles away painlessly, leaving no mark or scar.

As each black cord is severed you feel lighter and lighter. Lighter as in bouyant, lighter as in glowing, cheerful. No longer bound by the ties that bound and drain energy, you are free to enjoy the loving ties that make you feel energized and happy to be alive.

Phyllis Krystal http://www.phylliskrystal.com/phyllis-krystal-en.htmlwas the first to develop and create workshops and write several  book(s) on “Cutting The Ties That Bind” …listed here http://www.krystal.cnchost.com/

Also, there are other creative visualizations that might help





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“VENUS you make the heavens tremble and the earth quake. Great Priestess, who can soothe your troubled heart? You flash like lightning over the highlands; you throw your firebrands across the earth. Your deafening command … splits apart great mountains.” D. Wolkstein & S. Kramer, Inanna: Queen of Heaven and Earth

“As they turn, the planets are showing us the mysterious workings of God’s hand, expressed in the harmonious movements of the spheres. Each planet, as it revolves in its orbit, reaches positions where Earth, Sun and Planet form distinct alignment patterns. Only one planet shows us a perfect geometrical form. This form is pentagonal and the planet is Venus. Creating five equally-spaced alignments over a period of eight years, she draws the perfect, hidden and secret symbol of the five-pointed star in the heavens. As above, so below. The very landscape bears the sign of her secret revelation.”
—Key To The Sacred Pattern by Henry Lincoln

The quotes above were taken from http://www.maverickscience.com/venus.htm “The Many Faces of Venus” , 


http://www.aniwilliams.com/magdalene-venus.htm “Venus and the Return to Beauty”

It has been documented throughout history by scientists and astronomers and astrologers alike, that Venus definitely seems connected to great catastrophes to the earth.  She has been linked with the great Influenza of 1918, the Sars epidemic of 2003 and possibly even the H1N1 (Swine Flu) 2009.

 Apparently Venus has no magnetic field of her own, so when she passes close to our atmosphere her turbulent ’emotion-in-action energy’ interacts with the magnetic field of the earth.  Venus can easily sway and control the elements of water, air and fire in her favor.  Many pictures of Venus/Aphrodite depict her as the fire and air of the imagination, floating naked in a conch shell, upon the rippling waves of the seas uncontainable surges. 

In mythology Venus/Aphrodite birth was complex and subtle.  Uranus, her father was cast into the ocean, the unconscious and feeling element prior to her birth.   Born from his genitals, sensual organs, this symbolized her connection with feelings, the power of water, the unconscious and with pleasure.  Almost immediately after being born she rose from the ocean into the air.  I’m sure you’ve all seen the famous painting by  artist Botticelli,  showing Venus rising from the sea called  The Birth Of Venushttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Birth_of_Venus_(Botticelli)

Astrologically, we’ve come to know Venus as the planet of love and beauty.  She also possesses the power of attraction, enmeshment and the power of quiet, gentle persuasion.  She is symbolic of affection, sentiment, sympathy, romance, friendship, beauty, pleasure, music, manners, art, attractiveness, values, appreciation and a sense of aesthetics.  

“Astrologically speaking, the archetypes that correlate to self-sufficiency or self-reliance are Taurus, the 2nd House, and the inner side of Venus. Remember, Venus has a dual rulership: Taurus and Libra. The Libra side of Venus reflects a persons needs that are projected upon a partner: co-dependency. It also reflects our capacity to give to, and receive, from a partner. The Taurus side of Venus reflects the inner awareness in all us of what our needs are, needs that must be meet in order to live; survive. It also reflects our inner relationship to ourselves.”   Jeffrey Wolf Green

But to put all this simply, Venus represents what you like and dislike.  Venus’ cycle comes into play in our astrological chart around 10 months of age.  After a lifestyle of the ‘same stuff’ , we start wanting something else. 

Venus also represents your sense of  ‘taste’ what you like and don’t like, and taste is also tied into  early memories of what’s nice and not nice, what’s beautiful and not beautiful as well as our Self Worth and Personal Values. 

Everything that you like and don’t like is a statement of your values.  And your values will depend on how secure you felt with your mother, represented by the Moon in your chart.  Your self value  also has to do with how she loved herself and if she truly wanted kids or not. 

Value and Self-Worth (Venus) also represents how beautiful you ‘think’ you are.  From a Scale of 1-100, how beautiful are you in the morning?  Do you have to enhance it or is your image beautiful just the way you are. 

Like Venus, we all want attention, to be liked and noticed.  It does make a difference when you are liked and you like yourself.  When we don’t get the attention we need it affects our emotions, how we live and our habits (Moon).  How do you eat when you are rejected or don’t feel loved? 

So if we are going to look at Venus in  your chart, we also have to look at the Moon, for the Moon is the primary feminine archetype in astrology and represents your relationship with her which will inflence, all relationships to come.  

“We can understand Venus as describing what we like, sort of what tastes good to us. But like sweet sugar in the mouth, the pleasure it gives is nice, but might not be very fulfilling. The Moon describes what feeds us. Therefore, it is important that we understand the relationship between Venus and the Moon in our natal charts. If the two are in conflict, extra attention may need to be paid to make sure that pleasure feeds us, rather than leaving us undernourished. Someone with Venus in Cancer, for example, might appreciate the cozy and caring aspects of a love affair. But if the Moon is in Aries, space for spontaneity must also be included. This person can be very responsive to the partner much of the time (all other chart factors being equal), but suddenly pull away to reclaim her/his individual space. This can lead to confusion for both partners. It’s really about addressing two very different needs. The difficulty is that Venus and the Moon are close enough in their natures to mislead us into reading one for the other. Liking and needing are not the same thing. The form of love (Venus) and the substance of emotion (the Moon) may or may not be similar for a given individual. ”  by Jeff Jawer http://www.zodiacal.com/articles/jawer/intimacy.htm

Oh and what about your financial stability, that’s a Venus aspect too.  Someone once said Money is one of the greatest spiritual masters on this planet because no one touches it without a change of values…….so all that glitters isn’t gold. 

What happens when you want something you can’t have or spend all your money on a special dress for that unforgettable evening, only to find out someone is wearing the same dress and paid a 1/4 of what you paid.  Will it cause you to reevaulate things?  Will you stay at the party? 

So Venus is about how much you like yourself, how satisfied you are with your life and these all tie into your Self-Worth.  So where does this all begin?

As a child, we absorbed everything around us, seeing and hearing everything that our parents and everyone else around us did.  Every hour of every day we watched how one was praised, one was criticized, who won arguments and how; who was liked and disliked and why; what was noticed and what wasn’t.  We quickly developed strategies for making friends, getting a new toy, being allowed to stay up later, getting our sister/brother in trouble, being Grandma’s favorite.

We also aborbed our parents way of being together and learnt to evaluate whether we approved or disapproved, adopted or rejected it. 

You may have not liked how your parents dealt with each other and vowed never to act that way…..but to your dismay when your partner angered you, you found yourself giving him/her the very same look your mother gave your father whenever he dared to stand up to her. 

Our Self-Worth and Self-Image are the building blocks to how we hold up and interact in our relationships.  Venus rules the sign Libra, the sign of marriage and also the 7th House. 

Libra is represented by the ‘scales of balance’ and this sign and the  7th house pushes us outside of ourselves to search for a partner with the right chemistry.  But this chemistry isn’t all honey and roses.  The goal/purpose of your unique natal chart is to become consciously aware of yourself and receptive to new information.  Hence the  7th house outwardly and unconsciously attracts someone who will meet your particular emotional needs that were unmet  as a child. 

So what we fall in love with, is a partner who possesses both the positive and negative traits of our parents and reflects those images back to us.  Hence the looking glass of Venus, the sacred mirror for inner healing.   


 to be continued…..

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